Even though the room is
so chill and dark, I felt warm all over my body and I can’t move legs or hands.
It reminds silent for the most of the time. I can’t sleep at that night as I am
totally dejected about my existence in the real world. I thought about slashing
my neck with a knife like actor danush did in the movie 3 who dies due to depression.
There is no meaning for my existence as there is no one to show love and affection
for me. I loved nithya head over heals and believed she is the one who will be
there for me till my last breath. She used all the lame excuse to avoid me. She
rejected my call and ignored my message. She broke my heart as She left me for
another man. I can’t forget her. I can’t
live without her. I was loyal to her love for nearly five years. I never
cheated her with other women. I sacrificed everything for her. Today she
married someone else. I could not control the tear from my eyes. Not only she destroys
my dream, she also hurts my family for treating her as their daughter. She
broke my parents heart. I become a total loser. I have no good reason to live
in this world.
Event happened in my
mind:
The next few days, I
got up early for jog in the nearby ground. I have watched lot of breakup videos
in the youtube. I have stopped talking with my parents and friends. I started
to consume alcohol 3 times a week. My parents worried about my life. Even
though they try to comfort me, I rudely ignored them. I can’t forget her. My
anger towards her increased ten fold. I want to avenge my loss. I want the
world know I could be happy without her by my side. I created a profile in the
social media. I give friend request to the random girls in the social media.
Some girls accepted my request. After few more weeks, I went on a date with
these girls so I can forget her. Being in relationship with other girls, I
thought I could move on. But I realize my life stuck in the time loop, which is
really hard to escape from it indeed fell into the trap. Days passed I started
to consume alcohol regularly as I can’t erase her from my brain cells. My
parent frustrated with my behaviour forced me to join in the rehab facilitation
centre to overcome the addiction. I left the house and took room in the boy’s
mansion. There I got some friends who put me into drugs. To forget her I even
took drugs. Now I can’t live without drugs. Now I felt pity of myself.
Event happened in the
reality:
The next few days, I
got up early for jog in the nearby ground. I have watched lot of breakup videos
in the youtube.I angry about her.But I decided to let go my anger and focused
on myself. I have stopped talking with my parents and friends. I quit smoking
which really gave a hope in myself. I went to various temple as faith is best way to
overcome grief. I went to various other places and got fresh life. I started to
go mediation as it heal my mind. Mediation really help me to heal my mind and
focus on other things around me. I started to read famous quotes of great
philosopher. I started to read books. I started to different variety of fiction
books and non fiction books. Many self help books make me understand the
purpose of my existence in the world. Books like SECRET, POWER OF SUBCONSCIOUS
MIND, A MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRI became
my bible My parents understood my situation. I created a profile in the social
media and connect people of my ideology. I forgive myself for the things
happened in my life, even though she will be in my memory. I let her to live a
good and peaceful life. After few year I got married to women as my parents
wish and live is very happy as ever.